How do you show remorse?

On Saturday, I was pulled over for speeding. Not bad, considering I've been driving since 1987. Bad, considering I was driving much faster than I should have, didn't even notice that I blew past a state trooper and am now $150 lighter, not including any surcharge my insurance may assess.

Strangely, all I could think about was library fines. Eric, David Perry and I recently collaborated on an article about our move to get rid of daily overdue fines. One quote we included is:

An unpopular law will be broken, whether or not there is a penalty. Speed limits are probably the best example of this situation in the United States—a large proportion of drivers exceed the speed limit much of the time. Draconian measures can affect driving speeds, but enforcement at that level is difficult and expensive. Library fines appear to fall in the same category. Borrowers will comply with due dates unless they are inconvenienced enough to believe that keeping the item longer is justified. (Shontz, 1999, p. 84)

The trooper approached the car and said, "Ma'am, do you know why you are being stopped?" I told him I figured I was probably driving too fast. He said, "Ma'am, I was going 75 and you flew past me. Is there a reason you were driving so fast." I said no. I was totally freaked out and knew there was no excuse for it. He pushed the issue, though, asking, "is there a reason why you passed a marked state police car?" Honestly, I didn't notice it. So I said that, which I'm sure made me sound even stupider and less remorseful. I was thinking about our users, so I figured there was something he was expecting me to say. When I talk to a user about a fine I want to hear that they have learned their lesson. By being honest, I just sounded kind of bold and arrogant about the whole thing, even though that wasn't really how I was feeling. But Trooper Diolte probably thinks I have no regard for the law.

When I help a user who has a library fine, am I waiting for some coded acknowledgement on their part before I waive the fine? Could it be that those users who provided that coded acknowledgement do so randomly and the others are out of luck. Clearly, I wasn't on the same wavelength as Trooper Diolte (if I were, I would have received a warning). Is being on the same wavelength as someone who is in a position to waive your fine simply a matter of luck?

I actually have learned my lesson, and I feel like this experience shocked me sufficiently to keep me from excessive speeding for the next 23 years. On my return trip I stayed within 5 miles of the posted speed limit, which is about 20 mph slower than what I was caught for. And, instead of getting to my destination in 4 hours I got there in 4 hours and 15 minutes, with an extra quarter tank of gas, at less risk to my family, and without the risk of further financial penalties. I'm sure this will inform the next interaction I have with a user who doesn't seem to get it, because maybe they actually do.