How I Conquered Conflict

On Thursday I attended a training session called "Conquering Coworker Conflict." Although the content seemed to be more directed at strategies for dealing with challenging users, there were some gems that would be helpful in any situation of conflict. In fact, I had an opportunity to test out some of these strategies this weekend, when I had a little argument with my sister (ok, I thought it was little, she was threatening to pack up and leave which indicates that to her, it was rather big):

• Avoid justifying your right to be upset. This makes sense to me because every time you think about your justification, you are talking yourself into continuing to be upset! It was actually by not following this one that I started the argument in the first place. My first instinct was to keep my mouth shut, then some little gremlin in my head screamed, "This isn't FAIR! I have a right to be upset!" That's when the trouble started.
• If things get in a stalemate, call on someone else to try another way of communicating. This could be a colleague or a supervisor. In my case, it was my Mom, who, by talking with my sister, was able to identify exactly what I had said that had touched a nerve, and calm my sister down so she could listen to my apology. In a situation with a library user, referring to a colleague might just give the "refresh" that's needed to solve the problem.
  
• In any situation, you have the power to make things better. You also have the power to make things worse. First I made things worse. Then I made things better.
• Put yourself in the other person's shoes. My sister had been up throughout the night with a sick toddler, then the thing I criticized her about was probably something she was already feeling kind of bad about. Once I realized this it wasn't so hard to create a way we could both save face.
  
• Create an opportunity for the other person to save face. In any kind of conflict, rather than trying to "win" by continually zinging the other person, if you create an "easy out" for the other person, the conflict can be solved. This is how I made things better.

The library is trying to bring this session back so that many more staff can attend. I'll be sure it's scheduled at a time when the majority of Access Services staff can make it.

And, my sister and I have patched things up. We've been through worse blow-ups and we'll get through this, too. It's probably not the last conflict we'll face but at least I feel I have a few new tools to conquer conflict!

Communication, Transparency, and Holistic Service

As supervisor of Offsite Storage, a department that works regularly with so many different part of the library, I’ve always had to do a lot of communicating across the divides. Since becoming a part of Access Services, this aspect of my job has become even more pronounced.

I think this is largely due to Offsite Storage becoming more high-profile during the planning of the 2010 Renovation and its resultant need to coordinate related workflows with a larger number of faculty and staff members than ever before.

But I have also come to see it as part of a larger context: the push toward a new “Holistic Service Model” as discussed at the last Division of Libraries meeting a few months ago.

One of the themes that comes up a lot when discussing the “Holistic Service Model” - and which also came up a lot during Access Services' year-long Service Excellence Initiative - is transparency.

Personally, I find that good communication goes hand-in-hand with transparency. Good communication should be as clear as possible in its aims and in the information it is providing. However, this is much easier said than done!

What seems clear to one person might be totally confusing to another. It can be hard to step outside yourself and your own experience, especially when you’re deeply entrenched in the nitty-gritty. This is something that most of us have probably struggled with at one point or another, either at work, at home or in the outside world. It's also something that can always be improved upon. Sometimes all it takes is just that little extra bit of self-awareness and kindness.

Also, making it known that information is out there for all to find - on the Wiki, for example - is easier... done than done? What I mean is, no matter how well-organized and accurate a Wiki page may be, you can never be sure that its intended audience will take the time to consult it. Sometimes this sort of knowledge-gap can be fixed by a simple private e-mail or phone call, too.


I guess I'm taking the long way 'round to saying this:

The “Holistic Service Model” isn't just about making things better for library users, but for ourselves as well. I like to think of Offsite Storage as a good testing ground for this philosophy, since we don't usually deal directly with users but are nonetheless always interested in ways to provide better service - via coordination, communication, transparecy, and plain old friendliness! - to coworkers and colleagues. And I like to think that by doing so, we are indirectly improving upon service to all users anyway!


Now if only I could succeed in setting up simple and transparent mini-workflows during my upcoming maternity leave... :)

Communicating: speak clearly, listen carefully

For my first post here on the Access Services Blog I am going to talk a little about a class I attended a few weeks ago called Managing Communication Successfully.

In case it’s not obvious the class was about improving ones communication skills. I quickly learned that improving my skills was not just about learning to speak better but also learning to listen better. There are two sides to communication: speaking and listening. During any given conversation we usually participate on both of those sides and should be aware of the barriers that may prevent clear communication.

A few Communication Barriers are:
Unclear message or instructions
Poor listening skills
Languages and cultures
Communication styles
Stress and emotions
Noise
Making assumptions
There are of course many more that we have all experienced.

The class did not just dwell on the problems of communication though. We also discussed constructive ways to improve our communication skills. Both speaking and listening.

Deliver clear messages.
Be succinct
Be specific
Be generous

Ask open questions that encourage longer answers.
Open question: What help do you need? (This prompts a dialog.)
Closed question: Do you need help? (This prompts a one word answer.)

Listen actively.
Face the speaker and make eye contact
Focus on the person’s words and non-verbal language
Ask questions related to what the speaker has been talking about
Empathize

Many of us working in public service positions don’t even think about how much our jobs are really about communication. From writing emails to coworkers to speaking directly with a patron to assist them we are participating in some form of communication every day. Being able to speak and listen well not only makes us good at our jobs it can also make our jobs easier.

(just for fun take an online test about your communication skills at: http://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/2151)